yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
