We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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