I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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