OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
