dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm passing your future prison.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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