People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
