the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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