so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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