i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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