so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
