We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
