Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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