If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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