i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
