the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
