Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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