Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
