He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
