Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
