Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
