I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I can text with my tongue
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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