He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
