They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
