I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
