Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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