her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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