Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize