If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
