btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
