I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize