Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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