Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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