If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
