You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
