Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
