Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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