there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
