we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
