If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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