i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
