You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
