I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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