What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize