thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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