We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
