Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
