On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion