Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means