Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
