Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
