I'm lost and stupid without you.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
