What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
