you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
