ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
