He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
