oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
