At least make sure they are 18
Why
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
