She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize