take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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