I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize