how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
